And now for something lighter: Hair

Age three, age nine and age sixteen---those sides were a hoot. wings? wisps? With a mind of their own. And how about those octagon glasses. The bigger---the better to see you with!

It wasn't until I was much much older did I learn that you comb curly hair when wet and then leave it alone unless you need to scrunch it with more water-wet hands. I did not know this when little, and tried combing and brushing curly hair resulting in friz, and uncooperative hair.

When I Turned Twenty-One

Reflecting on Ben's birthday yesterday, where he has decided the world is a mean place, and only your close friends and family make over your birthday...

And wanting to remember that in all the times I hug Ben hello or goodbye, he usually just humors me, but yesterday, seemed to actually hug back a little...

And whereas I have always wanted to use the word, whereas, in a sentence...

Hence, behold, thusly, too...

I remember my 21st birthday. I was still living at home waiting for my Prince to come. I worked for an orthodontist. And I must say, that I did a lot of growing up at his office. I was a late bloomer. Reluctant to learn to drive, as I knew I'd never drive good enough for my Dad. But, it was a good time in my life. I dated some, and mostly attended church every night. Church was more like a nightly college Bible Class where the pastor took apart a verse word by word, explaining the parts of speech, and teaching us a daily love of the Word, and the necessity of feeding spiritually even as we need to feed physically. Church was also our social life. We sat by the same people night after night. Visited, went out for coffee, and even invited folks over after for more visiting. My folks were very social, and my Dad liked to stir things up, as he was easily bored.

My birthday falls next door to the 4th of July. And as a little girl, my birthday was linked to fireworks just for me. My Grandpa would haul me to the stadium in the huge college town near his farm, and we would enjoy the fireworks. But, at 21, we were living in Houston, and my folks did a sorta coming out party for me. They printed up little invitations on their copy machines (the year of the copy machine business) and the 4th of July also meant a special conference at the church which meant Bible Study twice a day, and finger foods during the breaks, and a salute to the military. The pastor was a retired Colonel, WW2 era, and instilled in us a love of country, patriotism, and a desire to support those in uniform. I learned more about our country, its history and heritage, in Bible Class than I ever learned in high school.

My birthday party fell during that 4th of July Bible Conference, so I got to pick out my favorite foods, and picked up these two feet long subway sandwiches from Andre's, and cut them in half, and I think about thirty or forty people came over between Bible Classes and ate with us. (this may have been my 20th birthday party, as I get the 20 and 21 mixed up) There was no alcohol. My siblings were all younger, hence, we needed to set a good example. And alcohol was never plentiful or even an issue in my home ever since my Dad's conversion when I was ten years old. Dad threw out the keg of beer in the frig way back then.

Anyway, I remember a good time had by all. Good friends of all ages attended, and may have wondered at the strange sandwiches, but hey, on your birthday, you get to be selfish and pick your favorite food. I did not meet my future husband until later that same year, and on my 22nd birthday, I was happily married, and living in Savannah, Georgia as the wife of a 1LT. So, little did I know, but my 21st birthday was my last one with my parents and siblings. And once I got married and moved away, my sister flew the coup shortly after getting her own apartment, and my brothers would put my folks through a few years of hell as they experimented with alcohol causing my mom to exclaim that if they had had the boys first, they would have stopped and never had us girls. I put my parents through a few sleepless nights, being hard headed, but they just don't remember. But, I was the first to leave the nest, and my parents, being young when they had me, were only 42 and 43 years of age when I got married. They were still young and energetic when blessed with that first grandchild three years later. And a big help to me when our boys were small. And our boys were so cute and adorable that my sister got married and had a few, and then my brothers found wonderful wives and had little blonde children, too.

Sometimes, my youngest son, Ben reminds me of my youngest brother, Jay. He gets tired of hearing about it. But, sometimes it is startling to me. On the phone, his voice reminds me of my brother, and his mannerisms---quiet, intense, and occassionally wild and loud and bigger than life. And that gives me hope, that my wild child will be okay. Hopefully, he will find a life's work...but, as the "experts" warned us, Ben may flit from job to job as things interest him. And being a hard worker, it will be okay. He may not choose the path his father did, working for the same company for almost 30 years. Bob has had and held different jobs inside that same company, but I can't see Ben doing something like that.

There is still this fight, this push-pull of interpreting history with Ben. He says we sheltered him. As if that was a bad thing? Bob smacks an "S" on the word, "MOTHERING" whenever I dare play it on the Scrabble board. I was preaching, lecturing Ben last night about how we'd rather he go to college, and then be too busy studying at night to bar hop. And then get married, and be so busy enjoying married life, and all that is involved in pleasing a wife, and kids, and the challenges of that lifestyle, that he does not need to be out at 3am on an Alpine street looking for something to do. At least he was polite to the policeman. And Bob says we need to send that man a thank you note. I only received two tickets in my life. One for not walking my bike across the street in Monticello, Illinois, my freshman year of high school. (I came home crying, and my sister laughed, but she got one the next day!) And once, when Andy was a little guy, I'll never forget his big-as-saucer eyes and questions and excitement telling Dad about the policeman that stopped us and gave me a ticket.

So, I was full of questions when we got this letter from the Justice of the Peace in Alpine, Texas. I thought Justices of the Peace just married people. I did not think Ben had a new wife somewhere. How exactly does one receive a ticket for walking across the street at 3am in the morning in Alpine, Texas??? At least he was not driving?? At least he did not murder someone driving drunk?? I should be so grateful? I failed somewhere as a mother, and I let him know. And writing a letter to God, my Heavenly Father sure helped.

I am so naive. I am so slow to notice stuff. This new stage of parenting adult children means we are here when/if they need us. And we will always be their parents, and we will take care of them if something bad happens and they are disabled or sick and dying, but we are not needed today, and I hope we have raised independent gentlemen. And from a distance, I do notice some things about Ben that I had not before---for example, he gets excited about a new job, works hard, then gets frustrated when he perceives they are not doing things "right", and then falls into a cynical, don't care attitude, where nothing matters. Working with him or living with him day to day is like riding a roller coaster. And when he concentrates on something or tries to figure something out, or when his mind is busy planning---he gets that distracted, faraway look. He has these bursts of creativity. I need to keep praying for his future wife, as she will need to be a special lady that can roll with the ups and downs, and who can live with the loud, and maybe even channel the creativity, and realize Ben gets bored with a job and needs to move on. I just hope and pray he sticks with the wife, and no matter what, give any future children the stability of an intact marriage and home so that they can thrive and grow. Only that spiritual connection of putting God first would save any union. And while God designed marriage and family---we all have to look to Him for the power, energy, humility and love to not irritate the crap out of each other. Just my opinion.

Time to vacuum. Thanks for listening to an old lady rattle on.

Twenty-one years ago on the 27th

I am sure we only set newborn Baby Ben in his brother's arms for a second...hence, the extra pair of hands.

They were the best buddies growing up. Built in playmates. Only 14 months apart. We even had a twin stroller for them to ride in high style to pick up their big brother in kindergarten.

Now that baby is almost legal. He has been Mr. Independent for almost two years now. Today, he let us buy him lunch. He can't stand us for too long. We are pretty boring parents. Bob beat me at Scrabble today. But I went out first.

Saturday Morning

A day we can usually sleep in, but I got up early because my back was hurting. Reading blogs. Improving my mind. I watched Brietbart TV yesterday afternoon, but showed it to Bob yesterday evening, as Scott did a good show all by himself. Liz was sick with a cold. I knitted a dishrag for a lady at church while we watched it on the computer. I have a whole box for this dear lady at church. She can have them all--over a dozen I have done up for her, to keep or choose a color she likes.

Ben dropped in yesterday afternoon. It was so good to see him. He seemed to have a little better attitude about work, but sees the company folding. Ben says he wants to do the solar panels right but, his boss does not see the need to protect them from a freeze. On the one hand, Ben seems glad to have learned the solar trade, but cynical on the other hand, as it takes years for a system to pay for itself, and maintenance is expensive. Ben told me about giving a Christian a hard time at the coffee shop. And saving a baby bunny story where he gets a lady's phone number. Ben remembered a CS Lewis book Bob had read them, and asked for the title so that he could pass it on to his Christian friend. Little does Ben know that its an answer to prayer to see God bring Christians into his life. I had to restrain myself from a happy dance right then and there. Ben turns 21 in seventeen days. He said he wants a vacuum for his birthday. I told him how much I am enjoying my Walmart one. And I hope he lets us take him out to eat.

James called, and has Monday off for Columbus day, and gets to be Platoon Leader next week. And he cooked himself a steak for supper and had a salad. I wonder what he is eating in the bread/grains department. Maybe cereal for breakfast? And from the fruit group?? When Ben moved into his own apartment, almost two years ago, he figured stuff out, and learned a lot of lessons the hard way. With James, we are enjoying all his adventures in learning to cook, do laundry, and I think we were on speaker phone when he washed his first dish. I told him I needed to put the date in his baby book, but he said I did not have one. I guess he has checked the shelves. He does not know that I have a lifetime of baby book memories in my head. And a whole box of journals of when he was a toddler... I am amazed how different each of my boys are. And our experiences with each of them have been so different.

Andy flew the nest first. Andy went away to college, and there was the band experience from sixth grade through college. Andy woo-ed his future wife that senior year of college, and graduated and got married and entered the military all in one month. That whirlwind month of May 2005. They figured stuff out on their own. We were not a part of Andy's day-to-day military experiences. We did not even know what to ask. Nowadays, we are blessed with calls from the wonderful toddler grandbaby. And wish we lived closer so that grandbaby could know us. And I am so thankful Andy is enjoying being a hands on dad.

Ben was and is Mr. Independent. And enjoys working with his hands. We are hoping he is interested in plumbing school and getting his license, as we know he'd be good at it. He has two black kitties he rescued, and is enjoying. He said that one of them head-bumped him awake yesterday morning wanting to be petted. He has built them climbing apparatus and regales us with their adventures. He says no burger is safe around them.

These cool Texas mornings are wonderful. It will get up into the eighties this afternoon, but we can enjoy the windows open for a while. Sallycat is pestering Bob to be petted as he tries to work at his laptop. Sallycat will walk through the Scrabble board. And across the laptop, or in front of the computer screen. She will then jump down another way, but the only path up is through. And she likes her Greenies in the morning.

A lazy Saturday---time for a bath to stretch out those back muscles, and a walk, for exercise. The sky is a pretty baby pink and baby blue this morning.

375-219

Bob beat me at Scrabble again last night. 375 to 219. The board was more open, but he bingo-ed twice. He is a most happy fellow. He is a basically happy fellow, anyway...that is why I was attracted to him 31 years ago this weekend.

We met Columbus Day weekend. Bob was helping an Army buddy move some of his furniture back to Houston, and Bob jumped in the car and attended the same church my family attended because Bob was being fed spiritually from tapes from that same church. Not only did he get some face-to-face teaching, he met a future wife. We started writing letters, and dated at Christmas, and he proposed the end of January and we married that April.

I remember that first meeting as he had no socks. He did not pack an extra pair, and was going sockless rather than wear dirty socks. But, his great sense of humor also caught my attention. And his letters were so witty and so well written that I could read them aloud to my folks, and so our romance flew under their radar.

I wonder what First Lieutenant Robert B. would say if a little birdie had whispered that weekend that his life is about to change. And for the last thirty years, he would never sleep alone. My snuggle bunny. My furnace. My light sleeper.

It was just after the Rice-A&M football game... (and I don't think those two colleges even play anymore)

Twenty-Two Years Ago Today...

Almost five-year-old firstborn was helping me pick out party favors at the party store when my water broke. I told firstborn that we had to go home, and would continue our shopping later. Firstborn asked the lady behind the counter, "what time do you close?" Too cute.

We drove home, and a good friend watched over our firstborn while I went on to the hospital. I can still hear Bob's cowboy boots coming down the hospital hallway in to the delivery room. We watched the monitors the rest of the afternoon... about 6 o'clock, the doctor came to check on my progress after her office hours, and when she installed another monitor into James' skull, the monitors showed that James' heart rate dropped. They threw me on the operating table and took him out quickly. It was a very sudden entrance...and yet, on my own Mother's 50th birthday.

I wonder what our firstborn remembers about it all. To be the only child for five years, and then be given a brother, and then another fourteen months later.

To James, he has always had brothers, being the middle child. Built in playmates. And such a bouncing baby boy. Such a joy. We have so enjoyed watching him grow up and now we get to enjoy him for three more weekends before he heads to his next leadership course.

Happy Birthday James ! Love, MOM

Warrior Home

Our Army son is home for a few days. What fun! We have an appointment to get a hitch installed on his truck, and we will probably eat at all his favorite places today and tomorrow...

And we finally got to reveal the surprise--




Bob made me keep it a secret until he pulled into the drive: vanity plates on our car in honor of James. When James was in first grade, his teacher called me from the copy room and showed me what James had done during her lesson, "Fortunately... and Unfortunately..." Apparently this was a yearly lesson because when I ran into her at the grocery store years later, she reminded me that it was time for that lesson again. On the first page, James had illustrated, "Fortunately, I have a BODM," and then, "Unfortunately, I FRTIID..." with a picture of said BODM and little circles for the expressed air. I had to try and keep a straight face with a very serious (at the time) first grade teacher. Sadly, she died this year of cancer, so in a way, this license plate honors her, too.

The State of Texas lets you play around with seven letters on their website, and so the plates have "TEXAS" in big letters on the top of the plates, and then, our special word, and then the state slogan, "The Lone Star State". Or, you can have any slogan from any crusade put on the bottom of the plates. It was so much fun picking up the plates the other day in downtown Fort Worth. Fort Worth is a very laid back downtown. Not too crowded. And never a line. I was afraid they would not allow me to have such plates, because, in some dictionaries, FART, is a naughty word. And I had the cute story ready, how this was to honor a recently deceased and loved first grade teacher that all my boys somehow managed to get. But, the clerk lady keyed it in without blinking. Our plates are also incrypted on the windshield label. One of these days, dear husband is gonna get stopped for his fast driving, and it will be so fun to see the police officer's face.

Now go over to Bob's site and see our nephew in Iraq!

Three Boys Filled the House !!!

Wow--yesterday, I was in Aunt Joyce heaven. I got to babysit my three nephews. It was fun. When my dear sister-in-law called, I should have run to the store and stocked up. I had a grocery list ready, but Aunt Joyce got caught with a very empty frig. The boys did not seem to mind peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. And I pulled out a package of provolone cheese. That was a big hit. Food in huge circles---just right for boys.

And it was too hot to play outside except to play in the sprinkler. That was fun. And the grass needed it. Brothers are funny in that they'd prefer to play WITH (torture) their brothers. Crimping the hose, or chasing a brother around the yard to give him a shower was much more fun that playing in the sprinkler by yourself and having the whole backyard to yourself.

Certain DVDs were declared, "too babyish" but BABE, the story about the talking pig was a hit. I love the music, and beautiful scenery of the movie. But, little guys don't stay glued to it for long.

I used to keep the nephews a lot. Especially when they were babies, it was fun to give their parents a break. They don't remember that, and were not real sure how we were all related. I had not seen them since May when our middle son accepted his commission.

It is so funny what little kids reveal. It would probably mortify their parents just how much they know and observe. And simple things---like how they love their momma's sweet coffee, but dad is more of a tea man. I have pictures of our grown boys on the walls, and those pictures sure came in handy for answering all their questions. They were fascinated with the old toys I pulled out and how we have two of most toys---like two Thomas the Tank trains, two Gordons, two sets in the huge Brio set. I tried to explain that we used to have two little boys (only 14 months apart in age) and they had a big brother and just like in the Toy Story movie, our boys wrote their names on the bottom of toys. The nephews enjoyed playing with Buzz and Woody. Some puppets and some action figures. It was so cute to hear the little make believe dramas that the nephews would enact with their daddy as the hero. I wonder if my brother knows how much they adore their dad.

When applying Balneol to a rash on one nephew's behind, I dripped some on the carpet. He looked at me in horror, and asked if I was in trouble. Too cute. And the nephews were fascinated with my huge flabby arms. I tried to just repeat what Joy Nash says in her You Tube videos, "people come in all shapes, colors and sizes."

Questions. Questions. Questions. And sometimes from ALL three of them at once. Their momma and daddy must be worn out mentally and physically at the end of the day. And I forgot that little boys, ages 8, 6 and 3 are not so good about putting the seat up...

Aunt Joyce is not very with it when it comes to video games. The nephews tried to bring me up to speed, but I could not get all the characters straight. And why is it that even when you have baskets of toys, the one your brother is holding is THE one you want. I have forgotten so much.

The nephews are so intelligent, and articulate, and smart. They don't miss a thing, and challenged me when I used a word they did not know. We have been so blessed to live close by and watch them grow. I keep telling their folks that these years will fly by and then their house will be too quiet...like ours. Today they fly north and go visit Grandpa John and get to see the eagles on his island. Grandpa John is SO going to enjoy these three very inquisitive, very active, very fun BOYS !

The Story of the Jameses

Over twenty-two years ago, my sister, who was pregnant with her firstborn flew into DFW to visit us. I was due with my second baby three months ahead of her, and as we stood in the luggage claim area, I asked what names she had picked out. She said that if he is a boy, then they had picked out the name, "James" and I told that we had picked out the name, James, too. She suggested that we pick out another name, because they had gotten permission. The name, James, is actually a last name on my mother's side of the family. We had decided to pair my mother's maiden name with Bob's mother's maiden name as they sounded good together. I guess my sister had called all known living relatives in Illinois with the last name, James, and gotten permission. I never asked her how she got permission. Probably just from Grandma and Grandpa James. Since my sister and her family live in another state, the odds of both Jameses being together would be a once or twice-a-year affair, so we have called the cousins by their first with middle names whenever we are together, or referring to the other in front of grandparents who might wonder which James we are referring to. Now the cousins are all grown up into men. One a senior in college, and one recently commissioned into the Army. Next year, the other James will commission, too. So, next year, it will be my sister's turn to pin gold bars onto her James' shoulders. Thanks to my folks, we have CDs of the Jameses as babies and as toddlers. Two little blonde guys playing with cars and trucks and miniature tractors. I wonder if their paths will cross in their careers. It has been fun watching them grow into two very smart, handsome men. (and note to James G---you'll be glad to know we finally went shopping and replaced that old recliner. Come visit again, and try them out--we bought two !!!)

Showing Poppy a doll

I was blessed with two sets of grandparents. Poppy and Nannie on my Dad's side. Here I am showing Poppy a doll we got for Christmas.






And earlier, sitting on my Poppy's lap eating a sucker. My Dad and my Poppy both worked/owned a Culligan dealership in Springfield, Illinois at the time. I don't remember this doll, nor the little quilted jacket. But, I do have lots of proof from pictures that my mom loved to cut our bangs super short. Maybe we did not hold still very well, and I can still hear her say, she did not want hair in our pretty faces. Those scuffed shoes tell a tale. I was not the most ladylike of little girls. As the firstborn, I knew I was loved on both sides of the family. And Poppy and Grandpa also tried to teach me to be nice to my sister. That did not come naturally.