On Mark Lowry's blog yesterday, the teacher talked about how Isaiah 40:31 starts out with eagles soaring, then running, then walking. Kind of how when we start out the day with a Bible Study, and then how we leak all day...how we need constant renewal.
Isaiah 40:30, 31: Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength, they will oar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.
NAS version puts verse 31 this way:
Yet those who wait for the LORD
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Word Searches: Death and Dying
Where is the first mention of dying in the Bible?
Genesis 2:16, 17 from any tree...eat freely...but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil...you will surely die.
Where is the first lie in the Bible, and what does it have to do with death?
Genesis 3:4 the serpent said to the woman, "you surely will not die!"
Where the the term dust to dust originate in the Bible?
Genesis 3:19 ...till you return to the ground because from it you were taken for you are dust and to dust you shall return.
Why did God make them garments of skin and send them out of the garden?
to cultivate the ground from which he was taken.
Right before the next death, what did God say to Cain??
Genesis 4:7 sin is crouching at the door, and its desire is for you, but you must master it.
What did God say to Cain after Cain murdered his brother, Abel?
Genesis 4:10 the voice of your brother's blood is crying to me from the ground.
What is Cain's punishment? Cain is cursed to be a wanderer and no strength from the ground, as in nothing he grows will bear strength.
What was said about Abraham's death?
Genesis 25:8 Abraham breathed his last and died in a ripe old age, an old man and satisfied with life; and he was gathered to his people.
Who changed a name given at a birth and a death?
Genesis 35:18 as her sould was departing (Rachel) named him Ben-oni but his father called him Benjamin.
Who was buried by two estranged sons?
Genesis 35:29 Isaac breathed his last and died and was gathered to his people, an old man of ripe age, and his sons Esau and Jacob buried him.
Where was the first death by fire recorded?
Leveticus 10:2 And fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them and they died before the Lord.
Where was the first death by plague recorded?
Numbers 16:49 by plague 14,700...besides those who died on account of Korah.
How long were you declared unclean for touching a corpse, soldier slain on a battlefied by the sword or naturally?
Numbers 19: 13, 16 seven days
What happened at Aaron's death?
Numbers 20:28 Aaron's priestly garments were tranferred to Eleazar, his son, then Aaron died on the mountaintop, and was buried there, and Moses and Eleazar came down from the mountain.
Where is death by fiery serpents recorded?
Numbers 21:6 The Lord sent fiery serpents among the people and they bit the people so that many people of Israel died.
What happened with Korah?
Numbers 26:10 the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them up along with Korah. 250 men.
What happened when directions were not followed precisely?
Numbers 26:61 N. and A. died when they offered strange fire before the Lord.
What was the punishment for a murderer who used an iron object as a weapon?
Numbers 35:17 death
What was the punishment for a murderer who used a wooden object as a weapon?
Numbers 35:18 death
What was the punishment for murderers who used ambush?
Numbers 35:20 death
What was the punishment for murderers who murdered with their hands?
Numbers 35:21 death
How about if the murderer used stones, rocks or dropped a rock on someone?
Numbers 35:23 death
Who was told to die on the mountain???
Deuteronomy 32:50 Moses is told to die on the mountain where you sacend and be gathered to your people, as Aaron your brother died on Mount Hor...
Where is it recorded that this was fulfilled?
Deut. 34:5
How old was Moses, and how was his health at the end?
Deut. 34:7 120 years old when he died and his eye was not dim nor his vigor abaded.
When is it recorded that hailstones killed people after the 10 plagues of Egypt?
Joshua 10: 11
Fun facts playing with the word search on Biblegate. Nothing like a funeral to send you searching for where did this custom get started?!
Another thing that struck me yesterday when I was singing in the car on the way to the funeral: Be still my soul....the CROSS of grief or shame. Grief is a cross we bear, those of us left behind. Bob had pointed out to the widow that God had honored her with being the one left behind. Another way to look at it, eh? That being the widow is the gift as it might have been harder on the other to be left.
I should have brought an extra flag, because the one presented to the widow became something precious to her, and she no longer wants to give it up to the first wife. I had warned her son to tell the funeral director we'd need two flags, but the funeral director was an idiot.
I don't want to forget how my friend, now a new widow, taught me by example to thank servicemen and women in uniform for their service. I walked over to the funeral detail and shook their hand, looked them in the eyes and thanked them for coming, and for serving. They were suprised. I don't think they get thanked very often. It was a funeral detail from Fort Hood. Then the new widow, flag still in her arms, walked over to the three soldiers, and you could see the suprise, almost alarm, in their eyes. She thanked each one, and shook their hands. wow. One soldier had the most beautiful green eyes. Then my friend asked me to get her out of there. So we did. We left. Went on to the church for a delicious lunch.
Me and my big mouth. I don't know what to say, and sometimes speak without thinking. The weather was gorgeous, it was a privilege to pray with her, and be there, and I hope it was a help, not a hurt. But, these events can be so wearying, and the widow was tired. When I left her yesterday to come home, as she returned to family duties, she said something about the day, and I said, "it was fun". Not exactly the right thing to say to a new widow. But, it was fantastic to see how smoothly, and how our prayers were answered, and my gift of giving her my whole day was indeed a privilege. Someday, if/when grief stricken, I hope someone reminds me to go to the bathroom, wash my hands, drink water, and sit. She did not need me, as she has plenty of caring family, but, I know she'd do the same for me if the roles had been reversed.
Last Wednesday, her husband came home from work, as was his usual routine. His faithful dog met him at the end of the drive, as she knows the sound of his truck. He was sick in the night. Was it flu? Something he ate? Congestion from a cold or cough? Thursday morning, his heart stopped and he quit breathing. My friend had to give him cpr three times. But, by 2am Friday morning, he was gone. My friend had to shop for a casket, and was so gracious to let her extended family have input. Carried along by the custom of our day of visitation, she was on her feet for over eight hours greeting the whole town and everyone at her husband's company. Then the funeral yesterday. I tried to distract the little toddler with chocolate cherrios. Bob spoke as he'd been asked...and while we had taken separate cars...it was so strange to hear his voice from the back of the room. And to not see him again until that evening. I was afraid to look at him, afraid to break his train of thought.
It has not even been a week, and my dear friend's life has been turned upside down. Please comfort her, Lord. Please protect her and walk with her. As that sunset last night showed. It looked like You were done. The clouds were gray after the pink got swallowed up. But, a ray broke out and colored againt he clouds with a pink and You said You were not finished with this sunset. Please guard my lips, and make me a help, not a hurt.
There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother...I hope I was that friend yesterday, that sticks closer than a sister.
Genesis 2:16, 17 from any tree...eat freely...but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil...you will surely die.
Where is the first lie in the Bible, and what does it have to do with death?
Genesis 3:4 the serpent said to the woman, "you surely will not die!"
Where the the term dust to dust originate in the Bible?
Genesis 3:19 ...till you return to the ground because from it you were taken for you are dust and to dust you shall return.
Why did God make them garments of skin and send them out of the garden?
to cultivate the ground from which he was taken.
Right before the next death, what did God say to Cain??
Genesis 4:7 sin is crouching at the door, and its desire is for you, but you must master it.
What did God say to Cain after Cain murdered his brother, Abel?
Genesis 4:10 the voice of your brother's blood is crying to me from the ground.
What is Cain's punishment? Cain is cursed to be a wanderer and no strength from the ground, as in nothing he grows will bear strength.
What was said about Abraham's death?
Genesis 25:8 Abraham breathed his last and died in a ripe old age, an old man and satisfied with life; and he was gathered to his people.
Who changed a name given at a birth and a death?
Genesis 35:18 as her sould was departing (Rachel) named him Ben-oni but his father called him Benjamin.
Who was buried by two estranged sons?
Genesis 35:29 Isaac breathed his last and died and was gathered to his people, an old man of ripe age, and his sons Esau and Jacob buried him.
Where was the first death by fire recorded?
Leveticus 10:2 And fire came out from the presence of the Lord and consumed them and they died before the Lord.
Where was the first death by plague recorded?
Numbers 16:49 by plague 14,700...besides those who died on account of Korah.
How long were you declared unclean for touching a corpse, soldier slain on a battlefied by the sword or naturally?
Numbers 19: 13, 16 seven days
What happened at Aaron's death?
Numbers 20:28 Aaron's priestly garments were tranferred to Eleazar, his son, then Aaron died on the mountaintop, and was buried there, and Moses and Eleazar came down from the mountain.
Where is death by fiery serpents recorded?
Numbers 21:6 The Lord sent fiery serpents among the people and they bit the people so that many people of Israel died.
What happened with Korah?
Numbers 26:10 the earth opened its mouth and swallowed them up along with Korah. 250 men.
What happened when directions were not followed precisely?
Numbers 26:61 N. and A. died when they offered strange fire before the Lord.
What was the punishment for a murderer who used an iron object as a weapon?
Numbers 35:17 death
What was the punishment for a murderer who used a wooden object as a weapon?
Numbers 35:18 death
What was the punishment for murderers who used ambush?
Numbers 35:20 death
What was the punishment for murderers who murdered with their hands?
Numbers 35:21 death
How about if the murderer used stones, rocks or dropped a rock on someone?
Numbers 35:23 death
Who was told to die on the mountain???
Deuteronomy 32:50 Moses is told to die on the mountain where you sacend and be gathered to your people, as Aaron your brother died on Mount Hor...
Where is it recorded that this was fulfilled?
Deut. 34:5
How old was Moses, and how was his health at the end?
Deut. 34:7 120 years old when he died and his eye was not dim nor his vigor abaded.
When is it recorded that hailstones killed people after the 10 plagues of Egypt?
Joshua 10: 11
Fun facts playing with the word search on Biblegate. Nothing like a funeral to send you searching for where did this custom get started?!
Another thing that struck me yesterday when I was singing in the car on the way to the funeral: Be still my soul....the CROSS of grief or shame. Grief is a cross we bear, those of us left behind. Bob had pointed out to the widow that God had honored her with being the one left behind. Another way to look at it, eh? That being the widow is the gift as it might have been harder on the other to be left.
I should have brought an extra flag, because the one presented to the widow became something precious to her, and she no longer wants to give it up to the first wife. I had warned her son to tell the funeral director we'd need two flags, but the funeral director was an idiot.
I don't want to forget how my friend, now a new widow, taught me by example to thank servicemen and women in uniform for their service. I walked over to the funeral detail and shook their hand, looked them in the eyes and thanked them for coming, and for serving. They were suprised. I don't think they get thanked very often. It was a funeral detail from Fort Hood. Then the new widow, flag still in her arms, walked over to the three soldiers, and you could see the suprise, almost alarm, in their eyes. She thanked each one, and shook their hands. wow. One soldier had the most beautiful green eyes. Then my friend asked me to get her out of there. So we did. We left. Went on to the church for a delicious lunch.
Me and my big mouth. I don't know what to say, and sometimes speak without thinking. The weather was gorgeous, it was a privilege to pray with her, and be there, and I hope it was a help, not a hurt. But, these events can be so wearying, and the widow was tired. When I left her yesterday to come home, as she returned to family duties, she said something about the day, and I said, "it was fun". Not exactly the right thing to say to a new widow. But, it was fantastic to see how smoothly, and how our prayers were answered, and my gift of giving her my whole day was indeed a privilege. Someday, if/when grief stricken, I hope someone reminds me to go to the bathroom, wash my hands, drink water, and sit. She did not need me, as she has plenty of caring family, but, I know she'd do the same for me if the roles had been reversed.
Last Wednesday, her husband came home from work, as was his usual routine. His faithful dog met him at the end of the drive, as she knows the sound of his truck. He was sick in the night. Was it flu? Something he ate? Congestion from a cold or cough? Thursday morning, his heart stopped and he quit breathing. My friend had to give him cpr three times. But, by 2am Friday morning, he was gone. My friend had to shop for a casket, and was so gracious to let her extended family have input. Carried along by the custom of our day of visitation, she was on her feet for over eight hours greeting the whole town and everyone at her husband's company. Then the funeral yesterday. I tried to distract the little toddler with chocolate cherrios. Bob spoke as he'd been asked...and while we had taken separate cars...it was so strange to hear his voice from the back of the room. And to not see him again until that evening. I was afraid to look at him, afraid to break his train of thought.
It has not even been a week, and my dear friend's life has been turned upside down. Please comfort her, Lord. Please protect her and walk with her. As that sunset last night showed. It looked like You were done. The clouds were gray after the pink got swallowed up. But, a ray broke out and colored againt he clouds with a pink and You said You were not finished with this sunset. Please guard my lips, and make me a help, not a hurt.
There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother...I hope I was that friend yesterday, that sticks closer than a sister.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Pioneer Woman Pound Cake: Cherry Dr. Pepper Version
Pioneer Woman posted the scrumptious looking, easy pound cake. I was hungry for chocolate, so I made a few changes. And since I don't have a bundt cake pan, I used my angel food cake pan.
The Pioneer Woman Pound Cake
3 sticks of butter
3 cups sugar
5 eggs
1 each teas. lemon flavoring, rum/vanilla
3 cups flour
1 cup sprite or Canada Dry
bake 325 degrees for one hour and ten minutes
The Twilight or Chocolate version I made:
instead of lemon flavoring, I just used Watkins vanilla. big splash
instead of sprite or Canada Dry, I used Cherry Dr. Pepper
and I used half a cup of Hershey's unsweetened powdered chocolate
It turned out pretty good. A little leakage because of the angel food cake pan, so now I have chocolate lava formations on the bottom of my oven. Looks like chocolate cake poop.
Bob and I could not wait for that whole invert on a plate and let cool part. We ate ours steaming hot straight from the pan. Yum. Moist.
I wonder if a half-teaspoon of salt would help or hurt the next time?
And I used brown sugar, and you can smell or taste a hint of the cherry Dr. Pepper. No need for baking soda nor baking powder. I buttered the angel food cake pan, and the cake slips out easily. It is fun cooking with soda pop. And since it only calls for one cup, the leftover Dr. Pepper quenches the thirst of the busy cook. Next time I may cook it five or ten minutes more with the oven turned off just to make sure it is done. Pioneer Woman said until no longer jiggly.
Enjoy!
The Pioneer Woman Pound Cake
3 sticks of butter
3 cups sugar
5 eggs
1 each teas. lemon flavoring, rum/vanilla
3 cups flour
1 cup sprite or Canada Dry
bake 325 degrees for one hour and ten minutes
The Twilight or Chocolate version I made:
instead of lemon flavoring, I just used Watkins vanilla. big splash
instead of sprite or Canada Dry, I used Cherry Dr. Pepper
and I used half a cup of Hershey's unsweetened powdered chocolate
It turned out pretty good. A little leakage because of the angel food cake pan, so now I have chocolate lava formations on the bottom of my oven. Looks like chocolate cake poop.
Bob and I could not wait for that whole invert on a plate and let cool part. We ate ours steaming hot straight from the pan. Yum. Moist.
I wonder if a half-teaspoon of salt would help or hurt the next time?
And I used brown sugar, and you can smell or taste a hint of the cherry Dr. Pepper. No need for baking soda nor baking powder. I buttered the angel food cake pan, and the cake slips out easily. It is fun cooking with soda pop. And since it only calls for one cup, the leftover Dr. Pepper quenches the thirst of the busy cook. Next time I may cook it five or ten minutes more with the oven turned off just to make sure it is done. Pioneer Woman said until no longer jiggly.
Enjoy!
Friday, January 22, 2010
Grief played out on facebook. again.
Last week, Bob's uncle died, and while it was not a suprise, I was amazed how facebook is where we first learned, and before the phone calls could be made, many had kept up with updates on facebook. And I watched different ones communicate with each other on how they were doing, as well as memories and wonderful videos on facebook.
I missed the first facebook message yesterday, but saw it after my friend called me to give us the shocking news that her husband had quit breathing, and she had had to perform cpr on him three times waiting for the ambulance. Her daughter had posted a call for prayer on facebook a few hours before my friend called from the hospital because it did not look good. My friend's husband's brain had gone too long without oxygen. And he was dying.
As soon as Bob got home from work, we drove down to the small town regional hospital, and tried to comfort friends and family. The hospital room was full of family and it was just going to be a matter of hours. Waiting. My friend wanted to sing Amazing Grace, as that is her husband's favorite hymn. So we did. And she asked Bob to show her how to salute. So, Bob did. That slow, respectful, heart-wrenching salute given to fallen soldiers.
God provided the most loving, gentle, kind doctor who patiently explained to the family what was going on, and what to expect, and he answered all their questions. The nurses, too, patiently answered the grandchildren's questions as they quietly worked on IV bags, and changing out medications. It was amazing to watch. The ICU unit was not very busy, and they allowed all of us to be there and say goodbye, and comfort each other. There is something to be said for these small town hospitals.
My dear friend took on the sad title of widow this morning at 2:12am. She is the first of my friends my age to walk down this path ahead of us. I know widows at church, but they are in their seventies. And while one of Bob's sisters is a widow, it was sad to hear Bob's sister talk about how she lost so many friends when her husband died. Her social life severely re-arranged. Maybe a younger widow is a threat to shallow people. Maybe they were fair weather friends?
Amazing day. Amazing week. And the sun is shining, and it is suppose to be warm again today. Seventy-two degrees. We have dandelions blooming in our yard.
My thoughts and prayers are with my friend and prayer partner. We hurt because we know she is hurting. And we desire to bring all thoughts captive for Christ. The good message we heard the other day from Denton Bible Church came to mind, as Pastor Tommy Nelson reminds us, as does the pastor at Mars Hill---that we are always worshipping something. Not just on Sunday or Wednesday nights...but every moment of every day, in our decisions, words, actions. I pray that we continue to honor the memory of loved ones, and comfort each other. And realize we are not here long, and some are given the test of being left behind for a time. And we don't grieve in a vacuum, but God invented the family where we get sandwiched and loved, and we are given teachable moments for the next generation.
I could tell that one of my friend's step-daughters would have preferred to have her daddy all to herself. This girl frowned upon our words, and laughter, and looked down up my friend who is very outgoing, and vivacious. My friend sorta thinks out loud, and is generous with her praise and thanks. And maybe this step-daughter had some regrets, and desired her daddy to come back so that things could be resolved. Maybe this step-daughter thought that deathbeds should be somber, sad places like the way they are portrayed in movies and on tv. So, I am suspicious that no matter how the funeral and graveside go, certain family members may look down their nose at our joy. As Christians we have such joy and are thrilled to know our departed one is no longer suffering, but is face to face with the Lord Jesus Christ. One of my favorite songs---No more pain, no more tears, no more death neither dying again...praises to the Great I AM, we will live in the light of the Risen Lamb. (google it---and let your speakers blast away!) David Phelps does a great job with this song.
Please help us turn, Lord, and comfort others, and know what to say to the bitter, and folks who judge our grieving as not appropriate. It will be a funeral they will never forget. But, check my motivation, Lord. Help me be a help, not a hurt. Help us grieve in such a way that honors, You, Lord, and points to Your Son as the One Who conquered sin and death.
In Jesus name. Amen.
I wish I could tell my friend that I saw two shooting stars on the drive home last night. Meteorites fall to the earth all the time---but I saw those two. spaced out by thirty or more seconds. Two dazzling lights that flashed into the west following each other. Not together, but when I saw the one, I was alert for the next. But, even then, my eyes only see a fraction of the sky riding in the car going west.
I missed the first facebook message yesterday, but saw it after my friend called me to give us the shocking news that her husband had quit breathing, and she had had to perform cpr on him three times waiting for the ambulance. Her daughter had posted a call for prayer on facebook a few hours before my friend called from the hospital because it did not look good. My friend's husband's brain had gone too long without oxygen. And he was dying.
As soon as Bob got home from work, we drove down to the small town regional hospital, and tried to comfort friends and family. The hospital room was full of family and it was just going to be a matter of hours. Waiting. My friend wanted to sing Amazing Grace, as that is her husband's favorite hymn. So we did. And she asked Bob to show her how to salute. So, Bob did. That slow, respectful, heart-wrenching salute given to fallen soldiers.
God provided the most loving, gentle, kind doctor who patiently explained to the family what was going on, and what to expect, and he answered all their questions. The nurses, too, patiently answered the grandchildren's questions as they quietly worked on IV bags, and changing out medications. It was amazing to watch. The ICU unit was not very busy, and they allowed all of us to be there and say goodbye, and comfort each other. There is something to be said for these small town hospitals.
My dear friend took on the sad title of widow this morning at 2:12am. She is the first of my friends my age to walk down this path ahead of us. I know widows at church, but they are in their seventies. And while one of Bob's sisters is a widow, it was sad to hear Bob's sister talk about how she lost so many friends when her husband died. Her social life severely re-arranged. Maybe a younger widow is a threat to shallow people. Maybe they were fair weather friends?
Amazing day. Amazing week. And the sun is shining, and it is suppose to be warm again today. Seventy-two degrees. We have dandelions blooming in our yard.
My thoughts and prayers are with my friend and prayer partner. We hurt because we know she is hurting. And we desire to bring all thoughts captive for Christ. The good message we heard the other day from Denton Bible Church came to mind, as Pastor Tommy Nelson reminds us, as does the pastor at Mars Hill---that we are always worshipping something. Not just on Sunday or Wednesday nights...but every moment of every day, in our decisions, words, actions. I pray that we continue to honor the memory of loved ones, and comfort each other. And realize we are not here long, and some are given the test of being left behind for a time. And we don't grieve in a vacuum, but God invented the family where we get sandwiched and loved, and we are given teachable moments for the next generation.
I could tell that one of my friend's step-daughters would have preferred to have her daddy all to herself. This girl frowned upon our words, and laughter, and looked down up my friend who is very outgoing, and vivacious. My friend sorta thinks out loud, and is generous with her praise and thanks. And maybe this step-daughter had some regrets, and desired her daddy to come back so that things could be resolved. Maybe this step-daughter thought that deathbeds should be somber, sad places like the way they are portrayed in movies and on tv. So, I am suspicious that no matter how the funeral and graveside go, certain family members may look down their nose at our joy. As Christians we have such joy and are thrilled to know our departed one is no longer suffering, but is face to face with the Lord Jesus Christ. One of my favorite songs---No more pain, no more tears, no more death neither dying again...praises to the Great I AM, we will live in the light of the Risen Lamb. (google it---and let your speakers blast away!) David Phelps does a great job with this song.
Please help us turn, Lord, and comfort others, and know what to say to the bitter, and folks who judge our grieving as not appropriate. It will be a funeral they will never forget. But, check my motivation, Lord. Help me be a help, not a hurt. Help us grieve in such a way that honors, You, Lord, and points to Your Son as the One Who conquered sin and death.
In Jesus name. Amen.
I wish I could tell my friend that I saw two shooting stars on the drive home last night. Meteorites fall to the earth all the time---but I saw those two. spaced out by thirty or more seconds. Two dazzling lights that flashed into the west following each other. Not together, but when I saw the one, I was alert for the next. But, even then, my eyes only see a fraction of the sky riding in the car going west.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Tornadoes in January
Yep. Right down the road on I-30. Canton, Texas.
Here I was watching Brietbart TV online yesterday afternoon, so I did not have the radio going, and bad storms travelled right through here and tornadoes formed east of us and took out a Chevron station. One worker/owner said he did a Dorothy whent he tornado heaved him up to the overhang and he broke a lightbulb with his head.
Same bad looking storms in Oklahoma, too. I wonder how our friends and family fared. A cell went through north of Wichita Falls, Texas.
We have not needed the furnace for the past two nights. Windows open again today. Mountain cedar pollen is bad, so I keep the south windows closed.
Spring in Texas. Complete with tornadoes. Houses were damaged in Van Zant county. They did not get much warning.
Here I was watching Brietbart TV online yesterday afternoon, so I did not have the radio going, and bad storms travelled right through here and tornadoes formed east of us and took out a Chevron station. One worker/owner said he did a Dorothy whent he tornado heaved him up to the overhang and he broke a lightbulb with his head.
Same bad looking storms in Oklahoma, too. I wonder how our friends and family fared. A cell went through north of Wichita Falls, Texas.
We have not needed the furnace for the past two nights. Windows open again today. Mountain cedar pollen is bad, so I keep the south windows closed.
Spring in Texas. Complete with tornadoes. Houses were damaged in Van Zant county. They did not get much warning.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
What our eyes see...
As a knitter, I notice texture, and weave, and patterns.
As a mom, the alert 24/7 mother hen is alive and well in me, and rises up.
And when we attend a funeral, we can't help but compare it to the other ones we have attended. When we attend a wedding, we harken back to our own, or to the ones somehow toggled in our memory to the present one.
A few years ago, as we were flying down the road to Nagadoches, our son dropped the bomb-o-news on us that he'd be doing funeral duty. We learned later (by dragging the information out of him, or by asking his patient wife) that this was an honor, that it was something he volunteered to do, and that it was a hardship on his own family, as he travelled to a funeral in the five state area around where he was stationed. I ask lots and lots of questions. I wear my family out with questions. And I marked the calendar so we could pray more surgically on his week. He'd be on this duty for a week, then off for four unless needed for a big, active duty one. Most of his funerals were the WWII vets dying in their nineties. Buried in small cemeteries, in the snow, and in the heat. He saw it all. And he does not talk about it. But, when I tried to ask him specifics last week, he deferred to the funeral director.
What the grandsons and their wives saw: Military precision, care, quiet honor and grace. What my husband saw: wrong one presented the flag, dishonor, missed opportunities. What I saw: this is what my firstborn did when he was on funeral duty, and while I never saw my son present the flag, it is done the same. Quietly. With dignity. Honor. Strength. and humility. In their fancy, dress uniform, they get down on one knee to present the flag. At no other time do we ever see a man in uniform bow nor get down on his knees. The salute is different.
And as women, I feel so superfluous at a funeral. Too emotional to speak, too out of shape to be of any help. I am easily way-layed by a tripping hazard, cold bench, (and in some irony---I had to lean against the shelter at the funeral before this one, as my back was out, and I could not stand up straight). And at a military funeral, at a military cemetery (national cemetery) they are in a hurry. They do 15-20 a day, and on these shorter winter days, there is only so much sunlight. They have a schedule to keep, so move your car, thankyou, and take your sniffling somewhere else. Show gratitude to the volunteers, and be thankful you came early.
But, as this death would have it, the memorial service will be on the 13th of February, so we have plenty of time to organize our thoughts, write, and ponder how best to comfort each other. Selfishly, I want my husband Bob to wax eloquent about his uncle because Bob is a good writer. And I love learning more about folks. And we are at that age where we look back at memories with the eyes of parents and being grandparents ourselves, and marvel how loved we were. And we did not always know it, nor acknowledge it. We took so much for granted. And if Bob writes about it, it is a gift of love, for in my opinion, his love language is words. I should not push, as grief has its own time table.
But, there is an urgency in that I have this strange desire to slap certain ones upside the head and admonish them not to muck this up. Here is a captive audience of impressionable young men----our sons, our nephews, and nieces, double cousins, almost all new parents...here is your chance oh, pastor, to teach. Maybe they won't remember whatall you say, but for half an hour, they just might listen as you wax eloquent about their grandpa, their great uncle, and our culture lies to them what a real man is.
I am expecting the sons to talk, and cry, as they did when their dear mom died. And that tells our sons, and relatives that it is okay to cry. I am expecting stories, and lots of laughter---for our family is strong on lots of laughter. I was not there, but at Bob's Mom's funeral, the then only granddaughter of 22 months shouted, AMEN, when the preacher said something she recognized. And it brought them all to tears trying to contain the laughter that bubbled out until they could climb back inside the limo. I love that story. Uncle Bill would want us to laugh, and be a family that loves each other, and comforts each other, and laughing together is part of that. Maybe the tears and laughter are the pressure releases in grief.
We all express our love in different ways---some like gifts, time, actions, words and hugs. And my eyes see through the mom-lense, and I do not want to miss any opportunities presented. Nor do I want to be accused of being controlling. or irritating. or a nag. I want to do what is right and good, for that honors the memory of the one who has passed. I am so glad I know he is partying with his loved ones in heaven. What does he see now? In that place of no more tears, no more pain...
As a mom, the alert 24/7 mother hen is alive and well in me, and rises up.
And when we attend a funeral, we can't help but compare it to the other ones we have attended. When we attend a wedding, we harken back to our own, or to the ones somehow toggled in our memory to the present one.
A few years ago, as we were flying down the road to Nagadoches, our son dropped the bomb-o-news on us that he'd be doing funeral duty. We learned later (by dragging the information out of him, or by asking his patient wife) that this was an honor, that it was something he volunteered to do, and that it was a hardship on his own family, as he travelled to a funeral in the five state area around where he was stationed. I ask lots and lots of questions. I wear my family out with questions. And I marked the calendar so we could pray more surgically on his week. He'd be on this duty for a week, then off for four unless needed for a big, active duty one. Most of his funerals were the WWII vets dying in their nineties. Buried in small cemeteries, in the snow, and in the heat. He saw it all. And he does not talk about it. But, when I tried to ask him specifics last week, he deferred to the funeral director.
What the grandsons and their wives saw: Military precision, care, quiet honor and grace. What my husband saw: wrong one presented the flag, dishonor, missed opportunities. What I saw: this is what my firstborn did when he was on funeral duty, and while I never saw my son present the flag, it is done the same. Quietly. With dignity. Honor. Strength. and humility. In their fancy, dress uniform, they get down on one knee to present the flag. At no other time do we ever see a man in uniform bow nor get down on his knees. The salute is different.
And as women, I feel so superfluous at a funeral. Too emotional to speak, too out of shape to be of any help. I am easily way-layed by a tripping hazard, cold bench, (and in some irony---I had to lean against the shelter at the funeral before this one, as my back was out, and I could not stand up straight). And at a military funeral, at a military cemetery (national cemetery) they are in a hurry. They do 15-20 a day, and on these shorter winter days, there is only so much sunlight. They have a schedule to keep, so move your car, thankyou, and take your sniffling somewhere else. Show gratitude to the volunteers, and be thankful you came early.
But, as this death would have it, the memorial service will be on the 13th of February, so we have plenty of time to organize our thoughts, write, and ponder how best to comfort each other. Selfishly, I want my husband Bob to wax eloquent about his uncle because Bob is a good writer. And I love learning more about folks. And we are at that age where we look back at memories with the eyes of parents and being grandparents ourselves, and marvel how loved we were. And we did not always know it, nor acknowledge it. We took so much for granted. And if Bob writes about it, it is a gift of love, for in my opinion, his love language is words. I should not push, as grief has its own time table.
But, there is an urgency in that I have this strange desire to slap certain ones upside the head and admonish them not to muck this up. Here is a captive audience of impressionable young men----our sons, our nephews, and nieces, double cousins, almost all new parents...here is your chance oh, pastor, to teach. Maybe they won't remember whatall you say, but for half an hour, they just might listen as you wax eloquent about their grandpa, their great uncle, and our culture lies to them what a real man is.
I am expecting the sons to talk, and cry, as they did when their dear mom died. And that tells our sons, and relatives that it is okay to cry. I am expecting stories, and lots of laughter---for our family is strong on lots of laughter. I was not there, but at Bob's Mom's funeral, the then only granddaughter of 22 months shouted, AMEN, when the preacher said something she recognized. And it brought them all to tears trying to contain the laughter that bubbled out until they could climb back inside the limo. I love that story. Uncle Bill would want us to laugh, and be a family that loves each other, and comforts each other, and laughing together is part of that. Maybe the tears and laughter are the pressure releases in grief.
We all express our love in different ways---some like gifts, time, actions, words and hugs. And my eyes see through the mom-lense, and I do not want to miss any opportunities presented. Nor do I want to be accused of being controlling. or irritating. or a nag. I want to do what is right and good, for that honors the memory of the one who has passed. I am so glad I know he is partying with his loved ones in heaven. What does he see now? In that place of no more tears, no more pain...
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