Thursday, November 5, 2009

Bad Cat

The table was set with our best china. The frying pan was set on warm so that it was at the ready and the food would not stick. The colorful dessert of yogurt and blueberries rested by each plate.

All was ready. I watched the clock. As soon as Bob pulled into the drive in just a few minutes, I would turn the burner up and finish supper. Not that we are in a hurry, but I was hungry. My lunch of peanut butter and jelly long gone. And we do have church on Wednesday nights, so getting dishes done before Bible Study is a challenge.

With all the windows open, I knew I could hear Bob as he pulled into the drive, so I sat down at this computer for a minute. To rest. Check email. Twitter. Facebook. I don't remember exactly what distracted me. But, I heard Bob's car pull into the drive and turned to the kitchen to finish supper, and there sat the cat between our china dishes on the counter! Wondering if she was attracted to or if she sampled the yogurt blueberries...I yelled and batted her down and she jumped into her dish on the floor scattering her food everywhere. And Bob walked into the house. And found a wife with murder in her heart. Mumbling under her breath.

Then, while we were eating our supper, the cat jumped up on the counter by the sink and started licking the butter knife. She has very bad, bad habits. I would prefer she was an outside only cat. But, that would mean keeping her food in the garage and the garage door propped so she could come and go, and this would also feed the neighbors pride of cats and the strays.

One cat. Cat for sale. She is going cheap. only seven guineas. That or there abouts. (musical: Oliver)

She has a very thick luxurious fur for winter. She's make a great muff. or purse.

She does not purr, nor is her voice very pleasant. When Bob walked into the house last night, he picked up the scattered catfood, and rewarded the little criminal with a treat of "greenies," her favorite. She begs for greenies. She recognizes the greenies sack from the back of the house and three closed doors. All you have to do is shake the greenies sack, and she comes running.

Good news. A cat has been diagnosed with swine flu. Five dogs in the metroplex, too. Just now, on the radio, they actually interviewed a vet who said, and I am not making this up: don't allow your cat to come in contact with your child who has swine flu. Oh, yeah. When I have a sick child at home, the cat is just so high on my list of priorities. Good grief.

Ten year old cat. Does not play well with others. Tolerates the small kitty next door. Hisses at everything else. Prefers Bob. Sits on his armchair when he is on his laptop. Hates our singing.

..."if I could say she wasn't very greedy...I couldn't for I'd be telling you a tail. One cat. Cat for sale. She's going cheap. Have you ever seen such? a cat. for. sale."


Bag Blog said...

Years ago, our preacher announced from the pulpit that he had two cats to give away and they needed to be given away quickly as they were "under the death sentence." I was horrified and told Toby we should take the two cats. Toby said, "No, we should put ours under the death sentence."

Bob said...

But dear, you can't say Sally's a "bad cat" -- that would be redundant.